Colors of the rainbow made me uncomfortable
All the bright pastels were so unsettling to me.
The black and dark grey brought a sense peace
I felt more at home, like I could finally breathe.
The sunny day made me want to stay inside
Light kept pouring in, so I had to close the blinds.
The dark and stormy night of heavy, pouring rain
made me feel like the universe understands my pain.
In times of insecurity, we find ourselves trying too hard… all for what? Trying hard to impress someone who can’t be pleased, trying to force things and fake things, and so on. It’s too much of a fight and solves nothing. There’s no peace.
But I don’t know how to live this way. It’s a real struggle. I try not to put much pressure on others but it can’t compare to the pressure I put on myself.
Anyway, I’m just trying. I’m trying not to try. I’m trying to just be. But you can’t try to be. You have to just be.
It’s tough, but I can completely accept the fact that some people won’t like me because of the true person I am. However I cannot accept someone disliking me for a false persona that comes from trying too hard, overthinking, worrying, and not staying grounded enough.
It’s about having faith in the universe, trusting it, and believing in yourself.
It is perfectly valid to feel any type of negative emotion, without reason or justification. Feelings can’t really be rationalized; they go beyond science and logic. Therefore, there really is no “correct” feeling.
Something that really draws out negative feelings, is getting yourself caught up in the should’s or should not’s. Like, “well I really shouldn’t be feeling like this, I should be feeling like that…” or “someone in my current position is supposed to feel like this and that…” Get rid of the judgement and just simply feel your feels! The sooner you face your pain, the faster you can work through and resolve it.
Just like the concept of detoxing, letting the damage come to the surface does not mean you are getting sicker, but it means you are healing. You cannot release negative emotions if you keep suppressing them. You have to let them come to the surface in order to let them go. Find a balance between detaching yourself from emotions versus becoming completely absorbed in them. Don’t hide from them, but see them without letting them consume you. You are not a judge in a courtroom debating what the punishment is for your emotions. It’s more like a movie theater: see something that you can’t control, without letting that something control you.
A shift in perspective is a powerful thing. The more expectations you have, the more pain you open yourself up to. With the knowledge that life is wildly unpredictable, why insist on controlling everything? When bad things happen, is it actually that bad? Once you get rid of all the judgement (the should and should not’s), you realize that you are a bright soul with a beating heart, balancing on a rotating planet, spinning around an illuminating star. And that alone is a miracle itself.
- My problems are my challenges that I was destined to conquer.
- When sadness comes, it’s here to visit but not to stay.
- Anyone who causes issues in my life is here to weaken my ego and strengthen my soul.
- No matter the circumstances, I can always choose to stay positive.
- Simply existing is a miracle.
Fire in the body and water in the soul
breaking free from my chains has always been the goal
there’s something in this dead world that makes me feel alive
it’s absolutely terrifying, but I’m so ready to dive
and if I fall, it was still worth it all, no matter the bruise
letting go and losing control is exactly what I choose
heart beating fast and I can no longer let it hide
come with me, close your eyes, and let the universe be your guide
The universe can take me to places I never imagined before
a little taste of heaven will keep me wanting more
look into a person’s eyes and you can see the stars
look up at the sky and realize paradise isn’t very far
I’m stargazing and awe-struck by the sight
in so much darkness, one can shine so bright
I humbly ask the universe, which is all-knowing:
what is this feeling that is keeping me glowing?
Freedom is important. But do we actually want to be free? We like to feel like we belong to certain people, places, and even situations. It gives us purpose, makes us feel needed. But then that sense of belonging can start to feel heavy on our shoulders. So much burden, so much responsibility, so much blame. And yet, we still need others to rely on us, because we also have to rely on them. You can’t be totally free if you want to survive the material world. A little bit of weight is healthy because it strengthens you; and still, too much weight will bring you down.
And so we live in this illusion that we belong to others. It makes us feel safe. But I wonder… what would happen if we let go a little bit…? What if you leave connections on faith instead of fear? Many friends I have today are people I used to really stress over when I felt like they were about to leave my life, just because maybe they were hanging out with somebody else more, or even just having a bad day. But I used to be really hypocritical and get angry when I felt like someone was being possessive.
Ultimately we are on our own, which is good and bad. We are free, which is good and bad. And the chains that bind us to one another, they are also both good and bad. So it’s a balance. It’s necessary for people to have other people they are bound to, for survival purposes and also for a spiritual comfort. And it’s also necessary to explore and grow on your own journey. Don’t let either side get in the way of your happiness, it’s all about balance.