Tag Archives: relationship

Lessons I’ve learned in friendship

1. Be grateful — be grateful for people who are kind and caring because that is very rare in life. I have wasted a lot of energy on negative situations when I could have been using that energy to focus on the people who make me happy.

2. Let go of expectations — friendships should not come with contracts or rules you have to follow. Also everyone is unique and we all have different ideas about how to show someone you care.

3. Let go when you know you should — if someone continues to hurt you, there is no need for confrontation or revenge. Sometimes you really do need to sit down with someone and have an honest conversation, if necessary. But if it’s a continuous thing then don’t waste energy on them anymore. They are not going to change, if they really do then it’s something they need to do on their own. Dont take someone else’s inner issues into your own hands. Let them do their own inner work.

4. Time will tell — friends come and go. Some friendships can be so exciting, uplifting, and authentic– yet remain short-lived. Or sometimes you quit being friends with someone for years and you somehow fall back together and refresh your friendship. People flow in and out, it’s normal for people to fight or misunderstand each other. Friends may become enemies, or enemies may become friends. You don’t really know for sure what your timeline is with anybody until you look back one day.

5. Anyone can be your friend — friends don’t have to be exactly the same. You can be total opposites and come from different backgrounds and still get along. You can have different ideas and beliefs about life, but still find a common ground. It’s about being able to put those differences aside for the sake of feeling connected to one another and realizing we are all more similar than we seem.

Indigo Ocean

Her name was Indigo Ocean. And these are the thoughts that ran through her head…

I did not like the way she walked with her shoulders hanging heavy, or the way she talked with her voice nagging… the way that she needed to cling to others because she had no confidence on her own. I did not like the way I found myself overanalyzing her and so I kept my distance.

She was an energy vampire. She thrived from the energy of others, maybe because she was so dead inside. She needed everyone to see her and hear her at all times… especially me… but why me?

I told her I will not change who I am just so that her insecure self can feel validated that I have nothing against her. Maybe I do or maybe I don’t. Why does that even matter to her?

She was so persistent, trying to steal my energy. She never gave up. Finally, one day I totally snapped, and BAM! I shoved her to the ground! I was baffled at how amazing that felt! I hovered over her, laying on the floor. I waited for her to get up, hoping she would shove me back, just so I could push her back harder. But instead, she grinned, and walked away with my energy. She did it! She took my energy! And that night I kept thinking of her, and I absolutely hated it!

The next time I saw her, I froze. She looked better, like she had more confidence now. She was pleased to know that I actually gave a damn about her. And she reached out, not to fight me, but to gracefully run her hand through my hair. And it felt nice.

Friendship Appreciation

Yesterday was “National Best Friend Day,” and so I was inspired to write a lot about the value of friendship. These go out to old friends, new friends, current friends, ex-friends, and friends that I still haven’t met yet.

A “relationship” refers to the dynamic between two people who interact with one another. It does not necessarily imply romance, of course it can be completely platonic. You can still get your heart broken by a friend. You don’t have to be related to someone by blood or by law to care for them deeply, or feel hurt by them.

In fact, it is almost worse to be betrayed by a friend as opposed to a romantic partner. It is almost expected to feel hurt by a lover, you know, because all is fair in love and war. But to be betrayed by a friend feels like a cheap shot. It feels extremely unnecessary, like a personal attack. Friends are supposed to be an escape from all the drama that love comes with. So surely, friends can break your heart deeper than any ex-lover could.

Friendship is such a beautiful thing. I consider myself extremely introverted and even slightly anti-social. Yet still, I highly value deep connections we make in life. And they deserve to be appreciated.

It’s too easy to dislike people, or make enemies, or see the worst in someone. If you can see past someone’s flaws and are able to simply have good vibes with someone then that’s an awesome thing. There’s enough pain in the world and it’s nice to have people you can laugh with. You can be really cool with someone, yet sometimes the energy can get too strong or out of control, and then people overthink, and then uncool things happen. So just chill, avoid the bad vibes, and soak up those good vibes!