Tag Archives: reflection

All around the world, statues crumble for me

Today, I turn 25-years old!

As I reflect upon these past twelve months, I feel I have made a total transformation. I’ve learned a lot and I continue to grow each year. As you get older, you can either get bitter or get better.

You should never judge what the universe has handed you. Everyone is unique and we all experience different situations. You should never compare your life to others, or the life you picture in your head.

You should be grateful for everything that gets thrown your way, everything you experience. The universe gives you gifts and it would be rude to decline or criticize what is handed to you, even if the packaging is falling apart and the gift is not what you pictured in your head.

If you open your mind wide enough, you can be thankful for each gift — without judgment. You were born to live a special and unique life. You were not born to fit a mold or do what everyone else is doing. You came here to get messy, get dirty, get scars — not to be perfect. It takes a lot of bravery to enjoy your life.

Thinking positive or negative is a choice. When you are down in the dumps, just let yourself feel the pain. Let yourself think that your life is miserable and always will be. Ride those waves. You will be surprised to see that it is only a matter of time before you feel refreshed and happy again.

I have thought a lot about expression and how we express ourselves. I realized how much I appreciate genuine emotion, even if it comes out “negative.” I understand why I act the way I do. I’ve thought a lot about how my unconscious actions can affect others, and how I can be more conscious of my behavior. I’ve thought about how we stand up for ourselves and how we draw boundaries. I’ve reflected upon good intentions that get interpreted negatively.

I feel like this is the year that I had to rebuild my confidence, tare it down and start from scratch. I’ve embarrassed myself so many times but I don’t regret it. I’m proud to say I’ve put my soul out there, and I’ve been judged and shamed for it, but I grew through it and learned how to defend myself and value my own opinion over anyone else’s. If you aren’t making a fool of yourself, then you’re not even living. You have to take risks and chances. People will be intimidated at worst, but inspired at best.

I’m ready for a new beginning!

Throwback Thursday ~ reflecting upon old posts

I write a lot — especially as of lately. I have published hundreds of posts on here. I feel shy about a lot of them and some even make me cringe. But that is what art is all about, yes? –Putting your raw self out there, vulnerable to criticism. My ego doesn’t always like it: counting all the likes/comments/views, worried about putting things out there that might make me look bad or doesn’t seem good enough. It’s a soul thing.

There are a select few posts that I am proud of. So I’d like to go back and reassess them, noting what I like and what has room for improvement.

The Scarlet Letter

Recap: I reread the classic “The Scarlet Letter” and decided to recap the story from Hester Prynne’s view, which I find so fascinating. No other book has been able to capture themes of guilt, shame, and judgment so distinctively. It opens your mind and forces you to reevaluate right vs. wrong. There is no true hero or villain. The husband, who deserves the most pity at the beginning of the story, turns out to be the evil one in the end. The priest, who seems to be most despised by the reader in the beginning, ends up being the truest and most noble figure in the end. And Hester Prynne experiences a deep shift in character, going through a punishment that she may not have deserved, yet greatly benefitted from somehow.

Highlight: I jumped into Hester Prynne’s shoes to get a full feel for this story. After reading it from a bird’s eye view, I wanted to experience it through Hester herself. So I even went so far as to purchase an early modern period costume and dress up.

Critique: I definitely could’ve made a longer post. It feels somewhat rushed to me. Generally, it’s good to keep blog posts short because most readers are looking for something quick and light. But I’m so passionate about the book that it deserves an essay. So in the future I may rewrite it and add much more depth to it, although I’d have to reread the book again.

Book Review: “Antony and Cleopatra”

Recap: As the title suggests, this is a book review. It is completely nonfiction, however the hard facts are still full of drama. This book was difficult to read, as it is very dry. It was an extremely enjoyable challenge. I did a lot of highlighting (as well as a lot of page-skipping…) Obvious to the title, the book follows the separate lives of Cleopatra VII and Mark Antony, and how their lives eventually intersected.

Highlight: I’m proud of how much work I put into this. This is a meaty post. It took so much time and effort. I did a lot of editing before I finally published it.

Critique: As much as I was fascinated by the romance of Cleo & Antony, I wonder why I did not put more focus on Cleopatra’s story. A little while back, I purchased a nonfiction book that solely targets Cleo herself, and I’m planning to write an even better post about that one. Because life is not just about romance, it’s also about individuality!

Film Review: The Love Witch

Recap: “The Love Witch” is one of my favorite films! Why? One word: AESTHETICS! Nostalgic and dreamy vibes, accompanied by dark humor and witchcraft. The main character, Elaine, is an absolute monster. Yet for some strange reason, she possess a surreal quality of magic that everyone lusts after (including me — yes, I’m obsessed with her aesthetic.)

Highlight: My intention was to provide a light synopsis of the film to an audience that has yet to see it. Therefore, I did not want to give away and details that would spoil the plot line. I wanted to encourage others to watch it. I think I did pretty well at capturing the film’s aesthetic.

Critique: There’s still a lot more that could have been said. If I wasn’t worried about spoilers, than I would have dove much deeper. The character of Elaine is quite fascinating. I may write a post analyzing her character, which will require me to completely spoil the ending.

Exposed

You shined a light on me

Revealing what I could not see

Maybe I was dumb and naive

Or maybe I was calculated and spiteful

Honestly I’ll never know

I feel so exposed, exposed, exposed

You shined a light on my past

Even my childhood days

Revealing all the ways

All the chaos I’d create

Maybe I was a victim of prey

Or maybe I was dangling bait

Honestly I’ll never know

I feel so exposed, exposed, exposed

You shine a light on the future

Brightness upon a new path

It takes a while to make change last

Maybe you’ll disappear in time

Yet the light is always going to shine

One thing I know for sure

Is that we all must take responsibility

Even for the things we cannot see

Intention is irrelevant

Innocence

Is not to be confused with ignorance