Tag Archives: love

Ladies, let go

The problem with girls is that we can be brats. We don’t want to work for anything and feel like the world owes us something. As little girls, we are catered to and adored because of childlike cuteness, and we learn to rely on this. Then we turn into princesses and we expect perfection not just from the world but also from ourselves.

In gym class, we never ran or got sweaty. On the playground, we never got dirt on our clothes or scrapes on our skin. In the fairytale books, we learned our role as the one who quietly and patiently waits for someone else to come to us.

We always hold back. We never try too hard. We are conditioned to wait… to expect… and to be disappointed. They told us we had to be perfect. They told us to never take control and yet never lose control.

Women are not programmed to live in their bodies the way that men are. We have to stay away from our bodies, cover them, hide them, be ashamed of them. So we chase after the perfect body that the media tells us to have, and we tell ourselves only after we have obtained an unrealistic image, are we safe to do so — which of course never happens because the perfect body does not exist.

Men can even make jokes about bodily functions and women are expected not to laugh but to get offended and embarrassed. We aren’t comfortable enough with our bodies to joke about them. We take it too seriously. That’s how we are conditioned.

We love to see men working out, sweating, pancing, faces turning red. And yet we won’t embrace this ourselves. Whatever the truth is, all women believe that no one (whether man or woman) wants to see us like that. There are female models who get surgery that stops their armpits from sweating because they are so repulsed by it.

Personally I like to work hard for something and I have always been this way. I like to put my blood, sweat, and tears into something before I earn it. I like to be challenged and second guess myself. But the world has always told me that I should sit and wait, to be perfect and expect perfection. So it’s a struggle between what I want verses what I think I want.

They profit from our struggle. Clothing shopping, makeup products, and hair dying are illusions of us living in our bodies. Instead of fully living in our bodies, we try to control them. We want to live in our bodies the same way men do, but we dont want to lose that control. We want to feel our bodies and make people notice our bodies without feeling vulnerable or going beyond our comfort zone.

More women than men struggle with eating disorders and dieting. Woman are more likely to obsess over the power of controlling their bodies. When our mind tells us to lose weight, and the body listens, it’s a high. And yet, men have a much easier time losing weight. Perhaps it’s because they listen to their bodies without viewing it as the enemy. They can eat intuitively rather than taking unrealistic measures that lead to starving and binging. Our bodies retaliate against our orders when we refuse to listen.

The mind is easily fooled but the body never lies. The body has infinite wisdom. Don’t feel disgusted by it. Listen to it, respect it, trust it, embrace it, and love it.

And never let yourself feel like a failure just because the world never fell at your feet. That’s not how life works. Prove yourself! This is why so many women are never satisfied, so uptight, so distant.

So I say, ladies, break the conditioning so you can live a happier and healthier life. I know it’s easier said than done. But you were born to live your life, not to be everyone’s doll.

The Mermaid Ball

It had almost been a year now since Fuchsia, the pink-haired mermaid had met The Captain. And she had never seen him again, since that one brief encounter. He made a promise to her that he would sail by these seas someday and at least wave hello, though he never did… Yet that did not stop him from flooding her head.

The Mermaid Ball was approaching — the biggest and hottest party for all mermaids, mermen, and other mystical sea creatures. This was the first year Fuchsia could attend, as she was finally of age. Her older sisters Amber and Turquoise had been before, meanwhile her younger sister Emerald still had to wait a couple more years.

Continue reading The Mermaid Ball

I.D.

I dreamt that I was rushing, we were all rushing onto a plane

Rushing, rushing, rushing, so I would not miss that gate

No time for security check, straight on the plane we go

Should’ve double checked my bags, cause I left my ID at home.

So then we flew to another state, only after arrival did I see

That I would never be able to catch a flight back home without my ID

Then I cried, I cried buckets of tears, the crying would not stop

Because I knew I could never feel at home while my identity was lost.

Only when I was fast asleep could I let myself fully feel

Leaving yourself far behind and not knowing how to deal

All because I was rushing ahead to get somewhere I don’t belong

I need to spend more quality time with ME or else she will be gone.

Demons & Destiny ~ the final chapter

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3:

The high priest would not reveal his vision. Instead, he insisted he saw the same thing that was originally seen by the high priestess years ago. But when Autumn tried asking him specific questions about it, he refused, and insisted on moving past it as if nothing had happened. She knew that he was hiding something, most likely for her protection, or maybe it was for his own protection. It was haunting her, possibilities of things he had or had not seen. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do.

And so this brings us back to the day of Autumn’s arranged marraige. In her last final attempt to be saved, she had snuck into the priest’s office and for the last time begged him for a way out. He would never tell her what he had seen, and he regretted ever taking her on a second spirit quest in the first place. It was not an easy choice for him but he was a man of honor. Autumn’s life was out of his hands and his job as priest was to be a guide, not a boss. She was waiting for someone to tell her what to do, just to avoid any guilt or consequences of her own actions. What she really needed to do was be brave enough to make her own choices.

What happened to Autumn that day, when she ran out of the church after being denied by the priest and forced to face her unchosen fate? No one knows. They have not seen her since she ran away that day. Of course rumors spread like wildfire: she found a richer family to marry into, she found a new priest to take her on yet another spirit quest, or she jumped into the ocean and chose to live with the mermaids. Her parents knew she was safe and alive, as she wrote them letters, but could never disclose the full truth.

Several years — decades — later, a young girl named Blossom found herself in a somewhat similar situation. Her arranged marraige would come to fruition in merely a few days, something that would ensure stability for the rest of her life. And yet she never felt so lost. The young girl, instead of seeking an authority figure, decided to seek answers in nature.

Blossom took a walk through the woods and stumbled upon a rugged home she had always noticed from a distance. Assuming it was abandoned, she trudged through the overgrown greens — and was absolutely shocked to find a perfectly groomed garden resting peacefully behind the house. Letting curiosity get the best of her, she decided to knock on the door. Nothing. A few more knocks… and she spotted eyes peering through the window blinds.

Finally, the door gently creaked open and an old woman with grey hair and wrinkles greeted her kindly, “hello, young girl! What are you doing in this part of the woods? It’s unsafe, especially with the evening approaching… are you lost?”

The older woman looked into young girl’s eyes and recognized a part of herself. It was like looking straight into a mirror from the past.

“I was going for a walk to clear my mind,” Blossom explained, “and stumbled upon this beautiful garden, so enchanting. Is it yours?”

“Yes,” the older woman nodded, “I grow fruit, vegetables, and herbs that I use to make teas and cosmetics that I can sell to the townspeople.” She was bare-faced and wearing a light sundress, “I never go into town without a full face of makeup and heavy cloak.”

“Are you alone?”

She let out a great laugh, “impossible! I’m always surrounded by life, I can’t get away from it. Even when I’m not in the town, I always have the plants and the animals.”

“What about your husband?”

“Let me tell you a little tale,” she grinned, “I was set to be given away like a piece of property. There was some type of ‘off’ feeling I could not shake, but I was so concerned with following my destiny and being supported by the heavens. My high priestess took me on a spirit quest, yet as years passed I kept feeling like her vision was incorrect or misread. As my fate came closer, I panicked and convinced my high priest to take me on a second journey, for confirmation. This time I knew for sure that he had seen something different, but he refused to tell me! So my only option was to go on my very own spirit quest.”

“What do you think he truly saw in his vision?” Blossom inquired, wide-eyed. “Is this it? Is this your true destiny you are living out?”

“I will never know what he saw,” the woman explained, “I used to be very fixated on it, until I realized I was putting too much of my own power into other people’s hands. No one in this world, whether priest or priestess or whatnot, knows what it best for me except for my own self. And I have realized it is so much more difficult to listen to your heart rather than the people who surround you, yet it is one-hundred percent worth it. You have to make your own choices and stand by those consequences, rather than living through victim-mentally, exploiting the privilege of blaming others for your own failures. You have to be strong enough to live for yourself.”

And there she was, as you can guess — Autumn — living out the final season of her life. Her story was written and could never be erased. But this does not mean it was the end for her. Something she had learned in her wise old years was that as soon as you believe your life is set and that there is no room left for change — that’s when destiny takes over and powerfully evolves your soul.

The End

Angel

I’m wrapped around in puppet strings

You tug on them and pull my wings

I’m all wrapped up in heavy chains

You tug and open Heaven’s gate

You know I am free

It’s how I choose to be

Well lo and behold,

I have been controlled!

I’m wrapped around in puppet strings

You tug on them and pull my wings

I’m all wrapped up in heavy chains

You tug and open Heaven’s gate

Don’t know if you see

This ain’t how I choose to be

But anything to please you

I’m never gonna seize you

I’m wrapped around in puppet strings

You tug on them and pull my wings

I’m all wrapped up in heavy chains

You tug and open Heaven’s gate

And now I want to be an angel…

All-Encompassing Force

I like to observe love from afar

like a scientist looking into a petri jar

watch films, write stories

all of its gore and all of its glory

love is a virus and no one is sterile

it even affects the feral

more mysterious than death, more mysterious than birth

it’s been here all along, even existed before Earth

it fights with our plans, leads us off our course

it’s quite funny — our attempts to control this all-encompassing force