Tag Archives: conditioning

Tuesday’s Tea ~ gratitude

As an alternative to “try-it Tuesday,” I also came up with “Tuesday’s Tea.” This will be casual ramblings, whatever is on my mind, sometimes philosophical and sometimes just rants.

Today’s tea is Rasberry Royale: black tea with a fruity pizzazz. The rasberry stands out and makes a perfect companion with the humble classic black tea. They do well together. It really wakes me up, in a steady and soothing way.

Be grateful.

Gratitude is the medicine for stress. By feeling thankful, you shift the wavelengths of your brain and train yourself to see things more positively.

Do not just count your blessings. Do not reserve your gratitude for what you consider to be “good” or “worthy.” If you are making a judgement before you offer thanks, then you are not practicing true gratitude.

Say “thank you” to everyone and everything. When someone acts kindly towards you, say “thank you.” When someone throws dirt at you, say “thank you.

To practice gratitude means to accept all, to live in the moment, and to feel at one with the universe. Be thankful for the “good,” the “bad,” the “neutral,” and everything in between.

Look back and remember all of the things that eventually brought you blessings. Remember how a few negative things had to happen in order for something very positive to happen. Remember how much you grew and learned from your mistakes.

And most importantly, remember that your belief system of what you think deserves praise verses what does not, is completely flawed. Your whole life you were trained and conditioned to thank people when they help you, to hold your tongue if they don’t, and to speak up and defend yourself if they displease you. The problem with this type of thinking is that we are trained to see “gratitude” as a form of manipulation into getting what we want.

Thank your friends and family. Thank the store clerks. Thank the birds who fly by. Thank the cars driving on the road. Thank the squirrels who cross your path. Thank your worst enemy. Thank your teachers and bosses. Thank your neighbors. Thank the earth. Thank your food before you eat. Thank perfection. Thank mistakes. Thank your feelings. Thank minor inconveniences. Thank the rooms you walk into, the doors you open, and the floor you walk on. Thank someone for thanking you. Thank yourself. Feel thankful.

And peace will reply back with, “you’re welcome!”

Ladies, let go

The problem with girls is that we can be brats. We don’t want to work for anything and feel like the world owes us something. As little girls, we are catered to and adored because of childlike cuteness, and we learn to rely on this. Then we turn into princesses and we expect perfection not just from the world but also from ourselves.

In gym class, we never ran or got sweaty. On the playground, we never got dirt on our clothes or scrapes on our skin. In the fairytale books, we learned our role as the one who quietly and patiently waits for someone else to come to us.

We always hold back. We never try too hard. We are conditioned to wait… to expect… and to be disappointed. They told us we had to be perfect. They told us to never take control and yet never lose control.

Women are not programmed to live in their bodies the way that men are. We have to stay away from our bodies, cover them, hide them, be ashamed of them. So we chase after the perfect body that the media tells us to have, and we tell ourselves only after we have obtained an unrealistic image, are we safe to do so — which of course never happens because the perfect body does not exist.

Men can even make jokes about bodily functions and women are expected not to laugh but to get offended and embarrassed. We aren’t comfortable enough with our bodies to joke about them. We take it too seriously. That’s how we are conditioned.

We love to see men working out, sweating, pancing, faces turning red. And yet we won’t embrace this ourselves. Whatever the truth is, all women believe that no one (whether man or woman) wants to see us like that. There are female models who get surgery that stops their armpits from sweating because they are so repulsed by it.

Personally I like to work hard for something and I have always been this way. I like to put my blood, sweat, and tears into something before I earn it. I like to be challenged and second guess myself. But the world has always told me that I should sit and wait, to be perfect and expect perfection. So it’s a struggle between what I want verses what I think I want.

They profit from our struggle. Clothing shopping, makeup products, and hair dying are illusions of us living in our bodies. Instead of fully living in our bodies, we try to control them. We want to live in our bodies the same way men do, but we dont want to lose that control. We want to feel our bodies and make people notice our bodies without feeling vulnerable or going beyond our comfort zone.

More women than men struggle with eating disorders and dieting. Woman are more likely to obsess over the power of controlling their bodies. When our mind tells us to lose weight, and the body listens, it’s a high. And yet, men have a much easier time losing weight. Perhaps it’s because they listen to their bodies without viewing it as the enemy. They can eat intuitively rather than taking unrealistic measures that lead to starving and binging. Our bodies retaliate against our orders when we refuse to listen.

The mind is easily fooled but the body never lies. The body has infinite wisdom. Don’t feel disgusted by it. Listen to it, respect it, trust it, embrace it, and love it.

And never let yourself feel like a failure just because the world never fell at your feet. That’s not how life works. Prove yourself! This is why so many women are never satisfied, so uptight, so distant.

So I say, ladies, break the conditioning so you can live a happier and healthier life. I know it’s easier said than done. But you were born to live your life, not to be everyone’s doll.