Tag Archives: body

Ladies, let go

The problem with girls is that we can be brats. We don’t want to work for anything and feel like the world owes us something. As little girls, we are catered to and adored because of childlike cuteness, and we learn to rely on this. Then we turn into princesses and we expect perfection not just from the world but also from ourselves.

In gym class, we never ran or got sweaty. On the playground, we never got dirt on our clothes or scrapes on our skin. In the fairytale books, we learned our role as the one who quietly and patiently waits for someone else to come to us.

We always hold back. We never try too hard. We are conditioned to wait… to expect… and to be disappointed. They told us we had to be perfect. They told us to never take control and yet never lose control.

Women are not programmed to live in their bodies the way that men are. We have to stay away from our bodies, cover them, hide them, be ashamed of them. So we chase after the perfect body that the media tells us to have, and we tell ourselves only after we have obtained an unrealistic image, are we safe to do so — which of course never happens because the perfect body does not exist.

Men can even make jokes about bodily functions and women are expected not to laugh but to get offended and embarrassed. We aren’t comfortable enough with our bodies to joke about them. We take it too seriously. That’s how we are conditioned.

We love to see men working out, sweating, pancing, faces turning red. And yet we won’t embrace this ourselves. Whatever the truth is, all women believe that no one (whether man or woman) wants to see us like that. There are female models who get surgery that stops their armpits from sweating because they are so repulsed by it.

Personally I like to work hard for something and I have always been this way. I like to put my blood, sweat, and tears into something before I earn it. I like to be challenged and second guess myself. But the world has always told me that I should sit and wait, to be perfect and expect perfection. So it’s a struggle between what I want verses what I think I want.

They profit from our struggle. Clothing shopping, makeup products, and hair dying are illusions of us living in our bodies. Instead of fully living in our bodies, we try to control them. We want to live in our bodies the same way men do, but we dont want to lose that control. We want to feel our bodies and make people notice our bodies without feeling vulnerable or going beyond our comfort zone.

More women than men struggle with eating disorders and dieting. Woman are more likely to obsess over the power of controlling their bodies. When our mind tells us to lose weight, and the body listens, it’s a high. And yet, men have a much easier time losing weight. Perhaps it’s because they listen to their bodies without viewing it as the enemy. They can eat intuitively rather than taking unrealistic measures that lead to starving and binging. Our bodies retaliate against our orders when we refuse to listen.

The mind is easily fooled but the body never lies. The body has infinite wisdom. Don’t feel disgusted by it. Listen to it, respect it, trust it, embrace it, and love it.

And never let yourself feel like a failure just because the world never fell at your feet. That’s not how life works. Prove yourself! This is why so many women are never satisfied, so uptight, so distant.

So I say, ladies, break the conditioning so you can live a happier and healthier life. I know it’s easier said than done. But you were born to live your life, not to be everyone’s doll.

Self-care Sunday ~ an introduction

As much as you may hear about “self-care,” most people do not truly understand what it means, or the importance of it.

Self-care means to take care of oneself, to acknowledge your needs, to check in with your mind and your body.

On autopilot mode, we tend to live too deeply in our heads and ignore our bodies. We let our thoughts take over and control us. The mind is easily manipulated but the body is strong, wise, and has a lot to say. There is so much tension and achy-ness in our bodies that we would rather ignore it and pretend it’s not there rather than address it. So we need to make a conscious effort to listen to our bodies and learn what we need.

Here is how it goes — something bothers you in your mind so you push it away and force yourself not to think about it. When you push it away, it does not magically disappear but instead travels to your body. For example, you are scrubbing harder when you clean, your jaw is clenching when you sit still, your shoulders are squeezed too far upright as you walk — and you do not notice this as it happen. Then the accumulation of tension builds up to the point where your body is screaming at you and now you finally notice, but by now it’s too late.

You can live more in your body by:

  • Exercising more, participating in more physical labor-related tasks. Do not spend your whole day sitting down.
  • Stretching
  • Feel your breathing by repeating “inhale” in your head as you inhale and “exhale” in your head as you exhale.
  • Drop your shoulders as you walk but keep your chest held high
  • Spend a moment thinking about a specific body part, ex your stomach. Simply bringing awareness to a body part helps you live in your body.

**Living in your body is one of the many ways to practice “grounding,” which causes you to feel more present and relieve anxiety.**

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