All posts by Lotus Laura

Memorial Servive for Gram

Yesterday was the memorial service for Gram. She will be missed dearly. The whole family was there, many who I haven’t seen in a while, as well as friends of hers who it was nice to meet for the first time. The service was just what she wanted (she literally planned it out before she passed away!) We sang her favorite hymns and I read one of her favorites, Psalm 100. People shared delightful and amusing stories of her. Afterwards, there was a slideshow and a collection of photos from her life. There was also some of her favorite foods — ice cream, pie, and candy. And we did the Schnitzelbank in her honor! Her spirit was certainly present through all the laughter and celebration of her life!

The family
My little brothers!!!

All around the world, statues crumble for me

Today, I turn 25-years old!

As I reflect upon these past twelve months, I feel I have made a total transformation. I’ve learned a lot and I continue to grow each year. As you get older, you can either get bitter or get better.

You should never judge what the universe has handed you. Everyone is unique and we all experience different situations. You should never compare your life to others, or the life you picture in your head.

You should be grateful for everything that gets thrown your way, everything you experience. The universe gives you gifts and it would be rude to decline or criticize what is handed to you, even if the packaging is falling apart and the gift is not what you pictured in your head.

If you open your mind wide enough, you can be thankful for each gift — without judgment. You were born to live a special and unique life. You were not born to fit a mold or do what everyone else is doing. You came here to get messy, get dirty, get scars — not to be perfect. It takes a lot of bravery to enjoy your life.

Thinking positive or negative is a choice. When you are down in the dumps, just let yourself feel the pain. Let yourself think that your life is miserable and always will be. Ride those waves. You will be surprised to see that it is only a matter of time before you feel refreshed and happy again.

I have thought a lot about expression and how we express ourselves. I realized how much I appreciate genuine emotion, even if it comes out “negative.” I understand why I act the way I do. I’ve thought a lot about how my unconscious actions can affect others, and how I can be more conscious of my behavior. I’ve thought about how we stand up for ourselves and how we draw boundaries. I’ve reflected upon good intentions that get interpreted negatively.

I feel like this is the year that I had to rebuild my confidence, tare it down and start from scratch. I’ve embarrassed myself so many times but I don’t regret it. I’m proud to say I’ve put my soul out there, and I’ve been judged and shamed for it, but I grew through it and learned how to defend myself and value my own opinion over anyone else’s. If you aren’t making a fool of yourself, then you’re not even living. You have to take risks and chances. People will be intimidated at worst, but inspired at best.

I’m ready for a new beginning!

Album Review: “Artemis” by Lindsey Stirling

Lindsey Stirling has her own unique sound that blends classical music with present-day dubstep. Her sound is mainly relies on instrumental with a hint of vocals for an added bonus. Recently she dropped a new album titled “Artemis.” It takes you on a wild journey through the deep, dark forest — hunting under the light of a full moon.

The album is heavily influenced by greek mythology — especially inspired by the greek goddess, Artemis. Artemis is the daughter of Zeus and twin sister of Apollo. She represents hunting and all things wilderness. In artwork, she is typically depicted with a bow and arrow. She is also represents purity and protection. Artemis is ruler of the moon.

Also drawing inspiration from comic book-style anime, which especially shows itself through her album artwork, “Artemis” is a musical adventure. Carrying themes of thrill and suspense, it will keep you on your toes.

Forbidden Knowledge (chapter 4)

Before we can move any further ahead, we need to back up…

Alice was born in a castle, inherited by her great-great grandparents and passed on through generations. Her childhood was extremely sheltered, with overly protective parents who never granted her any freedom. She was homeschooled and never allowed to leave the house unless she was running errands with a parent or going to Sunday service once a week.

Church was her only chance at making friends — and even then, there was no “Sunday school” for her to socialize with peers, just exhaustingly long services where she was forced to sit there in silence. Even if she were to make friends, “play dates” were not allowed and sleepovers were out of the question.

Alice was comfortable speaking to adults at the church. She was always kind, courteous, and polite. They often complimented her on her dedicated and studious ways, always praising her parents for raising a perfect angel. Alice felt at ease with her naturally ability to impress the adults: the way she stood in silence and never interrupted their stories, the way she always said “please” and “thank you,” the way she never raised her voice or whined…

And yet her peers made her feel opposite, like a total outcast. The children at her church were like animals. The girls liked to talk about fashion and makeup, they liked to sing and dance to pop songs, debate who the cutest celebrity is, topics Alice knew absolutely nothing about. The only topics she really had to offer were regarding school subjects or the Bible. The boys were much, much worse: they liked to throw things and make fun of people and beat each other up. Alice’s composure that was so well-praised by adults meant nothing to her own age group.

Continue reading Forbidden Knowledge (chapter 4)

Throwback Thursday ~ reflecting upon old posts

I write a lot — especially as of lately. I have published hundreds of posts on here. I feel shy about a lot of them and some even make me cringe. But that is what art is all about, yes? –Putting your raw self out there, vulnerable to criticism. My ego doesn’t always like it: counting all the likes/comments/views, worried about putting things out there that might make me look bad or doesn’t seem good enough. It’s a soul thing.

There are a select few posts that I am proud of. So I’d like to go back and reassess them, noting what I like and what has room for improvement.

The Scarlet Letter

Recap: I reread the classic “The Scarlet Letter” and decided to recap the story from Hester Prynne’s view, which I find so fascinating. No other book has been able to capture themes of guilt, shame, and judgment so distinctively. It opens your mind and forces you to reevaluate right vs. wrong. There is no true hero or villain. The husband, who deserves the most pity at the beginning of the story, turns out to be the evil one in the end. The priest, who seems to be most despised by the reader in the beginning, ends up being the truest and most noble figure in the end. And Hester Prynne experiences a deep shift in character, going through a punishment that she may not have deserved, yet greatly benefitted from somehow.

Highlight: I jumped into Hester Prynne’s shoes to get a full feel for this story. After reading it from a bird’s eye view, I wanted to experience it through Hester herself. So I even went so far as to purchase an early modern period costume and dress up.

Critique: I definitely could’ve made a longer post. It feels somewhat rushed to me. Generally, it’s good to keep blog posts short because most readers are looking for something quick and light. But I’m so passionate about the book that it deserves an essay. So in the future I may rewrite it and add much more depth to it, although I’d have to reread the book again.

Book Review: “Antony and Cleopatra”

Recap: As the title suggests, this is a book review. It is completely nonfiction, however the hard facts are still full of drama. This book was difficult to read, as it is very dry. It was an extremely enjoyable challenge. I did a lot of highlighting (as well as a lot of page-skipping…) Obvious to the title, the book follows the separate lives of Cleopatra VII and Mark Antony, and how their lives eventually intersected.

Highlight: I’m proud of how much work I put into this. This is a meaty post. It took so much time and effort. I did a lot of editing before I finally published it.

Critique: As much as I was fascinated by the romance of Cleo & Antony, I wonder why I did not put more focus on Cleopatra’s story. A little while back, I purchased a nonfiction book that solely targets Cleo herself, and I’m planning to write an even better post about that one. Because life is not just about romance, it’s also about individuality!

Film Review: The Love Witch

Recap: “The Love Witch” is one of my favorite films! Why? One word: AESTHETICS! Nostalgic and dreamy vibes, accompanied by dark humor and witchcraft. The main character, Elaine, is an absolute monster. Yet for some strange reason, she possess a surreal quality of magic that everyone lusts after (including me — yes, I’m obsessed with her aesthetic.)

Highlight: My intention was to provide a light synopsis of the film to an audience that has yet to see it. Therefore, I did not want to give away and details that would spoil the plot line. I wanted to encourage others to watch it. I think I did pretty well at capturing the film’s aesthetic.

Critique: There’s still a lot more that could have been said. If I wasn’t worried about spoilers, than I would have dove much deeper. The character of Elaine is quite fascinating. I may write a post analyzing her character, which will require me to completely spoil the ending.

RISE UP! (a vent)

I feel like nobody takes anything or anyone seriously. Everything is just a joke. Don’t get me wrong because I think it’s important to have a big sense of humor and don’t take things personally… But I feel like no one really thinks about how fragile life is and how precious every single day is.

People basically float day to day without purpose or consciousness. Everyone plays the “innocent victim” card because they are too scared or too lazy to take control of their lives and responsibility for their actions.

There’s a lot of superficial thought, like “if you can’t see it, then it doesnt exist” mentality. People turn a blind eye to what makes them uncomfortable. But if people had more bravery then they could accomplish so much more.

This might not make sense at first because I am a big believer in freedom. But sometimes I do feel like people have… not “too much freedom”… but like, the wrong type of freedom. I think we are so overwhelmed with different choices that we end up giving our power to those who take advantage.

I think people are bored with their false sense of freedom. So much destruction happens due to shallow boredom. People gossip and form cliques because they are bored. They look for problems because they are bored. They need to pick on others in order to distract themselves from their own flaws. They have nothing better to do.

But there is SO MUCH out there! So many books waiting to be read, skills waiting to be learned. Even if you don’t do anything, you will still make better use of your time through mediation and deep introspection. Just sitting there and focusing on your breath is actually going to bring so much more accomplishment than gossiping or picking other people apart.

Drama is a great distraction from our higher selves. Drama is like junk food that our soul gobbles down when it’s craving vitamins and minerals. You will never, ever discover the deep truths of life if you are too caught up in petty drama.

If you want to continue being an innocent victim of your life who faces unfair struggles, don’t expect anything to change. You can change your wardrobe, hair, home, friends, but you will still fall into the same psychological patterns. Nothing is going to change until you start from within.

“If you stand for nothing, then you fall for everything.”

This quote presents great truth. Be conscious. Have character. Stand for something. Don’t let the world tell you who to be, or bully you into hiding your true colors. Everyone will assume that you are confident, no one sees you falling apart behind closed doors. People will treat you like you’re made of stone. So RISE UP!


***VENT RULES! I am not attacking anyone in particular! This is completely personal opinion and not fact! I understand this is black-and-white thinking! Thank you for your open mind and no judgement please! Love & peace!***