I have already written a post about my initial choice to wear a head covering (click here)
I wanted to write a little more extensively about my personal experience.
First, it is a personal choice, and just because I choose to do so does not mean I want or expect others to follow. This is for those who are curious or may want to try.
I was initially inspired to wear head coverings at the very start of 2020. It was before the pandemic hit my area, so it really wasn’t about that — or maybe in a way it was! Anyway, I did this through the spring and summer, but by the coming of fall I decided to stop — not completely but on and off. Occasionally, I would cover my head, but not usually.
Recently though, I’ve been feeling motivated to go back to making it a daily habit. Again, I’m not putting the expectation on myself to do it every single day. Some days, I just don’t feel like it — or it’s too hot, or I want to show off my hair, or I’m being lazy. I’m allowing myself to have those days and not feel bad about it. But I have realized that when I do cover my head, it usually ends up being a better day.
There are many non-spiritual reasons to make this choice. It can be due to hair loss from health conditions or medication, or from an anxiety disorder that causes impulsive hair pulling. Also psychologically, having light pressure around your head eases anxiety, like a weighted blanket or oversized sweatshirt.
For me, I have found that it does help my anxiety. But I also have my spiritual reasons too.
Some say that by covering your head, you are also protecting your brain from negative and invasive thoughts, or spiritual attack. While there is no rational proof behind this, I personally stand by this. While negative thoughts still easily happen, I find myself more able to observe my thoughts rather than be consumed in them, and help stop myself from getting stuck in a negative thought cycle.
It’s also different when I look at myself in the mirror — which I mainly refer to when you’re washing your hands and there’s a mirror right in front of you. I do see myself differently…
Hair is so beautiful, especially on a woman I would say. And when you look at someone, hair seems to be the first thing that stands out. Personally I seem to base my beauty on my hair — a bad hair day and I feel ugly, a good hair day and I feel pretty — but I don’t want to be so consumed in that type of thinking.
When you remove hair from the situation, or push it out of the way, what you first see is a person’s eyes. Eyes are the window to the soul. And you also notice their facial expression more. Eyes and face are far more expressive than hair, which holds no expression at all. Hair is soulless, I mean it’s literally dead skin cells! It’s beautiful, but it holds no soul.
Maybe that’s why the Bible says something along the lines of, if a woman can’t cover her head, then let her shave it or cut it short. However in my previous post I have already mentioned this Bible quote so I do not want to dwell on it too much further because I know there are many different interpretations.
Again, hair is very beautiful, which is why I have those moments when I really want to show mine off. That’s probably why I resist to cut it short, because I still want the option of enjoying my hair. However, I have to say that hair is a huge distraction, it takes away soul expression. Covering it brings a completely different beauty, a natural and honest beauty.
Some say that this is only something to be done while praying, or going to church. That’s fine if that fits you. For me, I feel it’s something I aim to incorporate every day — whether I’m at work, out running errands, or sitting at home in privacy. (Again, there will still be many days when I choose not to wear any sort of head covering.)
My reasoning is that… it’s a lifestyle thing for me, not a specific occasion thing. For me, I am praying every day as often as I can — not necessarily out loud or in a traditional ceremony, but in my thoughts. So it makes no difference to me if I’m out in public or home by myself, doesn’t matter if people see me or not, doesn’t matter if I’m doing something spiritual or mundane.
And then there is the act of “submission.” This can mean something different for many people. For some, it is about humbleness, to hide yourself and cover up more of yourself as a way of showing humility. For some, it is about surrendering to the divine, accepting that you are not in control.