I have disrespected myself recently. And with mistake-making, when we go through a time of feeling out of control, we can take back control by making the right choice afterwards.
First off, you need to move on. You can’t dwell on imperfection because we are all human. You must forgive yourself and anyone else involved. Whoever the blame is placed on, you can’t become bitter, you have to keep moving forward. Usually both people share a weight of the blame, so resist victimizing or demonizing yourself or another.
Falling into a moment, or worse a habitual pattern, of disrespecting yourself is a constructive wakeup call to pay closer attention to your mental health. Like a child acting out for attention, there is an unhealed part of you that you have been ignoring for too long, that needs your attention right now. Unfortunately it can take a great downfall in order for you to notice this hidden aspect of yourself that still needs healing, love, and attention.
Letting someone cross your boundaries is a sign that you need to cultivate more self-worthiness. Perhaps you thought you were more confident now, but this situation proved that you still have a lot of inner work to do. It’s the perfect opportunity to remember how important it is to take care of yourself.
When you can admit to yourself that you have disrespected yourself, you can face your shame and grow from it and let it change you, instead of suppressing it and running away. It takes a lot to say “I shouldn’t have done that” or “I lost control of myself.” It’s a scary thought, but something you must accept if you want to see improvement. It’s better than living in a state of denial — which only leads to destruction.
Sometimes people test us, or perhaps it’s the universe testing us, and we fail. It always happens just when you feel like you have gotten better and made a change. Right when you tell yourself you’re going to start doing something, or stop doing something, is ironically the time when the universe comes crashing in like “are you sure?!”
- Why do we disrespect ourselves?
- We do we let go of our principles?
- Why do we disconnect from our bodies and minds and let the wrong person take control?
- How come, as soon as we reach the top of the mountain, a gust of wind sweeps in and knocks us back to the ground and we have to start all over again?
Letting yourself become hung up in regret is useless. When you’ve fallen to the ground, you have the choice to lay there in remorse, or to get up and climb again. Life is a series of trials and errors. Yes, it’s incredibly frustrating to think about how hard you worked just to start all over again. But the longer you dwell, the more time you’re wasting.
Get back up and climb that mountain. So you lost control. So you fell into a pitfall. So you keep on going. And someone can laugh at your errors because they have exposed that you are simply human. But you will be the one laughing when you reach that mountain top again. And you’ll probably have more falls. But with each fall, your persistence grows stronger, and you keep on fighting.
There will be the day when you have reached the mountain top. Someone or something comes in with temptation again. The universe gives you another test. And you will eventually have enough strength to deny it. Keep moving forward. Climb even higher. Imperfection will make you fall, but strength and persistence will keep you going. Perfection is not impressive because that means it’s fake. Strength and persistence, however, are rare qualities that are impossible to fake.
Progress is not a linear upward slope, but a squiggly line that goes up and down — eventually reaching the top.