An Apology… to myself.

Dear self,

I’m sorry for doubting you. You really proved me wrong, these past several months. You accomplished a lot of things you had been procrastinating about. You were so scared and thought you couldn’t handle the tiniest things. It was so silly. Because you did it, and I thought you couldn’t.

I’m happy with how honest you have become with yourself. Memories you shoved away came back to the surface — for healing. You let yourself feel so many feelings that you had previously shut down. Thank you for that. This is how you heal and move forward.

I’m proud of how much you have opened yourself up and put yourself out there. You started this blog and used to get worried when people acknowledged it, or talked about your writing, or left you a “like” or comment online. It used to make you so uncomfortable. You considered deleting your blog, worried about people seeing it and judging what you put out there.

But instead, you kept pushing yourself. You wrote even more. You found enough confidence to actually promote your writing, to encourage others to read it, and to network with other writers. You welcomed any possible criticism. And instead of getting offended, you GREW from the response. And you bettered yourself as a writer.

The people around you may not be able to see how far you have come. In just 2-3 years, you transformed from a “recent college grad” to a full-blown adult. For once, you are making your own decisions and doing things you’ve been dreaming of for far too long. Finally, you are living.

You know who you are now — although self-discovery is a never-ending journey. You are no longer afraid to tell people what your limits are, and how you function differently, and what your needs are. You’re not afraid of being yourself — well, you’re working on it! Now you know how important it is to communicate your point of view, rather than letting people assume who you are and feeling like you must fit their mold.

And just because not everyone can see how much inner progress you have made, does not make it invalid. Some people have recognized your progress while others have not. What matters is that you know how far you have come, and you deserve to be proud of it!

Love, me