Trust & boundaries

Why do we trust the wrong people and distrust the right ones?

Why do we put boundaries against those who care, and let down our walls for those who don’t?

Why is a teenager more likely to follow what a celebrity endorses while calling their best friend a backstabber?

Why do well-educated adults trust everything they read online, while doubting people they have known for years?

Why does everyone kindly greet strangers, while holding grudges against people who have taken the time and energy to invest in them?

Because everything from the media, the Internet, TVs, celebrities, authority figures, and total strangers have established credibility that they have not earned.

Guess what? People arent perfect. People make mistakes. ALL the more reason to trust & forgive.

The same goes for total strangers. You have never witnessed their pattern of failure.

But EVERYONE has patterns of failures, EVERYONE messes up, and EVERYONE is imperfect.

Trust the people who are brave and honest enough to admit they aren’t perfect.

Anyone who comes to you with a claim that you have zero reason to distrust them IS A ROBOT.

Someone who comes to you with a genuine fear of hurting you, should be treasured.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid failures and mistakes.

The media writes articles from unknown authors, people you never met before. Why trust them? Because they earned a degree? Because they knew the right people in order to land a powerful position? Does that not make them capable of imperfection… dishonesty… even worse, evilness?

What does a PHD have anything to do with empathy?

What does a rich man have anything to do with wisdom?

What does a beautiful and famous model have anything to do with kindness?

What does a position of power have anything to do with your best interest?

Celebrities have an ENTIRE TEAM of people who’s job is to make people trust them, influence them, spark sympathy, influence your choices.

Total strangers have been conditioned their entire lives to be perfect on the outside. You trust them because you haven’t known them long enough, or gotten close enough to them, to realize that they are imperfect.

Politeness, avoidance of conflict, and fear of being disliked has NOTHING to do with genuine character. We see this in strangers and assume they are perfect — leaving behind those who truly matter.

You meet someone who understands you on another level. Someone you have shared many secrets with. Someone who could have dragged you down so much further than they could have, even when given the opportunity.

But they’re just not good enough, I guess. They’re too human. They’re too aware of their mistakes. They feel guilty for little things they do, meanwhile there are monsters out there who are incapable of guilt.

There’s people who will cry because someone yelled at them, or someone made a tiny remark implying negativity towards them. Meanwhile there are others who go around screaming and bullying anyone who looks weaker than them.

There are people who admit there are two sides of the story, and quick to take responsibility for things that go beyond their control. Meanwhile there are serial killers who will lie in court under oath who legitimately consider themselves victims.

There are people with mental disorders being bullied by their peers, name-calling like “crazy,” “retarded,” “stalker,” or “psychopath.” Meanwhile there are LEGIT psychopaths and sociopaths who murder for fun.

Dont you understand how DIFFICULT it is to talk about mental health, in a world that severely stigmatizes?

Dont you understand these “weirdos” are the FIRST to stick up for the weak, the disabled, the ones who are different, the ones who get picked on? Because they KNOW first hand how that feels.

Please. Stop distrusting people FOR BEING PEOPLE.

And start DISTRUSTING people who created the illusion they should be trusted without question.

And most of all… TRUST YOURSELF.

You know yourself best.

Trust your intuition.

Trust imperfectness.

Or keep on following the blind, it’s up to you.

2 thoughts on “Trust & boundaries

  1. Thanks for this. This spoke to me very strongly. Very aware of my faults but unable to shake them off but slowly, it seems that humans do not often take center stage. I think somewhat positively of the term “robot”, but your context makes clear what you meant. I’ve been described as a robot on the tennis court before; as a very good, mechanical, technical player. Sometimes I think singers are robots, they are so perfect. It takes decades of practice to reach that level. Machine learning algorithms do not evolve themselves over night. Sometimes there is light, sometimes there is naught. What was I saying…

    Thanks for this. I really appreciate your writing. I won’t bother you with any overly personal stuff, but yeah, this was good. Trust is a strange thing. I often think I am not a “smart truster”, for lack of a better term, but maybe we are all wiser than we think? Obviously, scammers (in a broad sense of the word) are out there, and probably always will be. Takes a while to learn and recover the painful way.

    This reminded me of some of the misinformation about the current virus on the loose. I wonder if you were addressing this in implication?

    Thanks for being you, Laura.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thanks for your comment! Yeah, I can see how “robot” would be a good thing in that type of context! I also love playing tennis, it’s probably my favorite sport to play!

      I really do think that we all have so much wisdom, the issue is that we have trouble trusting our own wisdom. We’ve been taught to follow someone else’s wisdom, a “credible source” of wisdom. When in reality, the most credible source is ourselves. Only WE know what we have been through, experienced, how we function. Others can teach us so much, but at the end of the day we know ourselves best. Sadly most can’t see that, because of society’s conditioning.

      And yes, it certainly pertains to the virus panic, partially! But it also is about society as a whole, being mistrusted by someone and watching them trust the wrong people. We all do it. That’s why we need to wake up!!!

      Again thanks for the input! ~Laura

      Liked by 1 person

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