Desperation can be a good thing.
I used to be so worried about “bothering people.”
It was my greatest fear.
I never want to make things difficult for others, or come across as annoying.
I used to think it was one of the worst things in the world, to come across as desperate.
But I’ve realized that desperation is a natural part of life. That’s life. Sometimes you have to be annoying. The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
I’ve learned that by not trying to come across as desperate, you can create more problems for yourself. It can lead to other issues such as misunderstandings, lack of communication, standoffishness, missing opportunities, and not getting the help that you need.
Desperation is that red flag you send out when you’re struggling. Hopefully, someone who sees your red flag can offer assistance. There’s a small chance people will judge your red flags or ignore them, but if you don’t put them out there then there’s a 100% chance no one will help because they can’t hear you.
What I have to do is move beyond my ego, get past the part of me so worried about how desperation looks on the outside.
I hate looking needy, looking like I can’t do it all on my own. But that’s the truth, I really do need help sometimes, and there is no shame in that.
I must remember that it’s not the end of the world to look a little foolish every now and then. I must remind myself that how I appear should never stand in the way of my inner needs and desires.
And something else to consider is different personality types. Some people like to be chased after. It makes them feel important, special, and needed. They like to take on the role of caring for someone. It’s natural for them, it’s their home.
And then others feel overwhelmed, or too much pressure to be perfect, when someone else needs them. They call it clinginess. Meanwhile, they really need someone who they can run to themselves, someone who will help them out, take care of them. That’s what feels natural to them.
Basically, it’s okay to be desperate. Some people actually like it. And if they don’t, and they just get annoyed, don’t take it personally.
Desperation is a part of life: we all need something or someone outside of ourselves at some point. The more you accept this, the easier it gets.