A deep tunnel of darkness… she walks down, treading lightly. She does not need a candle to light the way, for she is an angel glowing brightly, yet she is a fallen angel. She has fallen down too many deep tunnels of darkness… down the rabbit holes… she is the angel of death. And death is not the end nor the final destination. It is the transformation, the change of perception, energy that is being altered.
And in this dark tunnel, holds emotional gratification over everything that is dark and destructive. There the monster awaits, pouring waves of guilt, shame, and humiliation over her body. She is held captive like a prisoner. The flames of fury spread like a wildfire. People pass by her and watch with judgement, disgusted. She is spat on with shame.
But what is this look on her face? Is it… could it be… a smile? A type of joy that goes beyond simple happiness? Why is she encouraging the monster? The more she pulls, the tighter the chains… but the keys are right there in her pocket. The exit sign is glowing and calling her to break free.
And when limits have been reached, the angel floats above and effortlessly removes herself from the suffering. Breathing fresh air, spreading her wings, and flying away. She returns to paradise seemingly untouched. This is it: Heaven, land of perfection. Everything here is beautiful, flawless, and godly. Pure lightness — not a speck of darkness in sight.
It is only a matter of time before the angel of death finds herself fallen, once again, down another rabbit hole. She does not want to be perfect, or beautiful, or flawless like the other angels. She wants a taste of real life, the type of life that others have always protected her from. They don’t want to see this poor angel hurting. But they don’t understand. Look at the trees and the mountains — crooked and bumpy, yet so breathtaking. Now look at man’s creations — symmetrical and quintessential — so lackluster!
Demons will take her away, and if one is strong enough, it will take her down deeper than any other tunnel she has fallen into before. And it will grow frustrated with her amusement, her satisfaction, and her unshakable faith. She will let it test her, let it question her beliefs, let it break her down. She will absorb its energy like a sponge. Yet the thing is, angels always remain pure in their hearts, even the dark ones. Maybe that’s their curse. No matter how hard someone may try to hurt them, they cannot shake it through their stubborn hearts that everything is love.
The angel of death finds beauty in the ugliness. Does she enjoy abuse? Does she like being controlled and disciplined? Does she seek out regret and rejection on purpose? Perhaps it is something that she subconsciously craves? Is this the key to her own personal heaven? Nonsense… that would be crazy… right?
Maybe the true craziness stems from society’s obsession with perfection, chasing after a fairytale, finding your happily-ever-after, posting your picket fence on a freshly mowed lawn while always feeling like the grass is greener on the other side. Most people are blindly running away from their own demons instead of courageously conquering them.
The angel of death visits the world of light from time to time, but mainly remains in her darkness. She lives with fear but not in fear. She feels pain so much deeper than anyone else, and she welcomes it too. But she also feels joy deeper than anyone else. Not many people can handle her, unless they are capable of weathering storms that can bring both curses and blessings upon their lives. I would not blame anyone who chooses to run away from her. If you can withstand her power, you are brave.