A few days ago marked the four-year anniversary of my relationship with Kevin. It’s amazing to think about how much has changed since then, and how strong our relationship has grown. I don’t know how to explain how wonderful he is without sounding cheesy. I want to stay humble and pretend that it’s no big deal, but that’s far from the truth. Not only has he taught me how to fall in love with someone, but he has taught me how to fall in love with myself and with life. He helps me see the bigger picture instead of getting too caught up in my own little world. I’m not the biggest “people person,” and I become easily drained when I spend too much time with someone. But I could spend all of my time with him and it would still feel like it’s not enough. I think humans in general are hard to deal with, yet love is what raises us beyond our animal instincts and forces us to put others before ourselves.
We’re both living at home right now, three hours away from each other, trying to find jobs so we can start investing in our future. It’s nice to be home, but I’m definitely looking forward to the day we can move in together. It’s really frustrating to see other couples our age who are already living together. I’m used to seeing him almost every day, and now it feels like we’re back-tracking, though we are certainly not. We talk about marriage all the time! We are really excited for the future and having patience is torture.
Now that I’m past 21, I’m seriously starting to feel old. Objectively, you can say that I’m still younger than most of the population, and therefore I am still young. But right now I am throwing objectivity out the window and stating how I truly feel… old. You know how I know I feel old? Now, when people make comments about how young I look, I glow with excitement and it feels like a genuine complement. Mwahaha, I beat mother nature and father time with my looks! I don’t think you understand… just a year ago, I considered looking young for my age to be my greatest flaw. But ever since I turned 22, as if someone flicked a switch, I feel incredibly old. There is no in-between with me. Maybe it has to do with returning home after living on my own for a couple of years. It’s sort of like a time-warp. It’s like I have returned to being a teenager, yet I have the mind and body of a 22-year old, not a 17-year old. Young adults have slower metabolisms and more stretch marks than teenagers. Young adults are far more open-minded (and maybe cynical, too) about the world than teenagers. Young adults have much greater responsibility and pressures than teenagers. Young adults are old folks from a teenager’s perspective. So yeah, basically, I’m a teenager again, but I’m actually a 22-year old. Maybe I will feel younger once I start feeling older (such a paradox). By that, I mean, once I have a full-time job and I move out, 20s will feel young again.
Anyway, Kevin and I went to Longwood Garden on Saturday and it was gorgeous! The theme was orchids, which are Kevin’s favorite type of flowers. My favorite room was the cactus room. We spent a good two hours there, admiring the beauty of nature. I really enjoyed seeing so many plants. If only they had animals, as well!
Today I had an interview at an animal hospital and I think it was fairly successful. They want me to come back on Thursday for a “working interview,” where they watch me work. It feels like a lot of pressure. I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I know I’m very qualified, but I also know that the workforce is unfair. I’m looking at many different options because you never really know. It’s a very confusing time.