Exposed

You shined a light on me

Revealing what I could not see

Maybe I was dumb and naive

Or maybe I was calculated and spiteful

Honestly I’ll never know

I feel so exposed, exposed, exposed

You shined a light on my past

Even my childhood days

Revealing all the ways

All the chaos I’d create

Maybe I was a victim of prey

Or maybe I was dangling bait

Honestly I’ll never know

I feel so exposed, exposed, exposed

You shine a light on the future

Brightness upon a new path

It takes a while to make change last

Maybe you’ll disappear in time

Yet the light is always going to shine

One thing I know for sure

Is that we all must take responsibility

Even for the things we cannot see

Intention is irrelevant

Innocence

Is not to be confused with ignorance

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Chicago 2019

This weekend I flew to Chicago with my family to visit the brother. I have visited a few times before, but it’s been a couple years. The hotel we stayed in was very unique with a lovely minimal/rustic aesthetic. It had a rooftop bar with a beautiful view.

We went on an official donut tour on Saturday morning. We had a tour guide (Mimi) take us around several blocks, making stops at four different donut places for samples. Mimi gave us a lot of fun facts about the city. At the end, there were trivia questions, and I won a “donut champion” sticker!

My favorite place was “Ipsento,” which is Latin for “self discovery.” Their donuts are made with sweet potatoes. Here, we sampled a maple donut and my all-time favorite of the whole tour: the cyanne pepper donut! Sweet and spicy!

Traveling can be stressful and exhausting, but it was a good time! I’m already quite homesick and can’t wait to go back to my cat. 😺

Flow Friday ~ “No Regrets”

“No regrets” does not necessarily mean that you would repeat the same exact choices you made in the past. In fact, you can be regret-less and still do something differently if given the chance.

The difference is this: you’ve accepted the fact that you cannot go back in time and change things that have already been done. And you are at peace with that. You no longer hold a grudge.

What “no regrets” means is, moving forward, you will choose differently. You will take your lessons from the past and utilize them. You can’t change the past, however you can most certainly change the future.

As frustrating as it is, some lessons must be learned the hard way, or else they never stick. Sometimes the pain is absolutely necessary. And it takes feeling someone else’s pain to understand the pain you have caused.

It takes time and space to be able to see yourself from an outsider’s perspective. And when you do this, you can see where you went wrong.

If you get so caught up in trying to change the past, you will feel powerless. That feeling of powerlessness will crush your self-esteem and therefore cause you to continue making negative choices.

You have to accept everything before you can find clarity. And when you find clarity, it brings back your power, and your confidence to follow your heart and remain true to yourself.

Throwback Thursday ~ Music

Music can have a profound impact on your environment. It can be the soundtrack to your life. Today, we have great control over the type of music we listen to. There’s radio, CDs, iTunes, and many different streaming services. The internet makes it easier to explore all music, including underground and indie that would otherwise be rare to find, decades ago.

Personally I have a deep admiration for CDs. As a young girl, I was still listening to cassette tapes, and CDs were a big deal. They were double the price, double the size, and you could actually skip songs instead of impatiently playing with the fast-forward/rewind buttons.

I have good childhood memories going to our  town’s local store “CDs & Tapes” (obviously they went out of business a few years later.) It was a roulette, paying $20 (that’s A LOT of money for a 90s school-child) for a CD when I only knew one song from the radio. It was riskier back then, before you could preview all the songs online.

I can appreciate radio/streaming, but I will always prefer CDs/tapes/etc… When an artist puts out a new record, the tracks should be in a purposeful order that tells a story — instead of randomness. Many pop artists do not put as much thought in the order of their tracklist because they are trying to sell singles. They are focused on radio top hits. I prefer hearing a story rather than bop after bop.

I really enjoy creating playlists and burning mixed CDs. In a way, it’s like I am creating my own story by borrowing the pieces of others’s stories. I have made many mixed CDs for friends and family and it makes me happy to see them appreciate it. I once gave my friend a mixed CD and she told me how she could see how much thought was put into it. Never hesitate to ask me to make you a CD — just give me a genereal  idea of what artists/genres you prefer!

In the past few years, I started listening to records. I bought a record player in college. I only have a few records right now, because of the high price, but someday I hope to have a decent collection I can display with pride. I’m obsessed with the whole aesthetic of records. Something so nostalgic and dreamy about it, as well as a feeling of true respect for music. It is an entirely different quality of sound.

Music is a wonderful thing. It can be a way of controlling your life, in a way. The lyrics seep into your thoughts and the melodies seep into your movements. Sometimes it’s not until you look back, when you see how much an album, artist, or genre has shaped you.

Wish Wednesday ~ success is scarier than failure

The greatest reason we do not chase after our dreams is because they scare us. It may sound ironic and illogical, but it is entirely true. There are several reasons for this.

1. The only thing harder than reaching the top (whatever “the top” means for you — it’s different for everyone) is staying there. When you obtain something you desire, you risk the pain of losing it. But when you are at the bottom, you have nothing to lose.

The best way to handle this feeling is remembering that there is no such thing as “the top.” No human being is perfect and there will always be room for growth and improvement. Even if you fall down, you are still further than you would’ve been if you never tried.

2. It’s easier to lie to yourself and say, “if I really went after this, I could have it” and refuse to try, instead of chancing real rejection. Typically we feel like giving up just when we are moments away from achieving something.

Rethink the way that you see rejection. Instead, use the word “refocus” over “rejection” because that’s what it really is. No one has the power to end you. It is not about being denied, but being guided to change your focus. Letting go of a small opportunity could lead you to a much bigger and better opportunity.

3. We may not believe that we are worthy of our dreams. If you think you don’t deserve something then you won’t put your heart into it. You must be able to truly picture yourself having something before you can have it.

Look back and focus on your wins, not your losses. Think about all the things you take for granted now that your past self never had. Make an effort to visualize your goals and really feel them.

4. When you are happy and successful, you attract jealousy. You may be worried of people sabotaging you because you got what you wanted and they did not. Misery loves company — and if you’re feeling satisfied in life, you’re going to lose that company.

Stay humble and do not be a bragger. This should come naturally if you are following your heart rather than seeking validation. Encourage others, pep them up. However — sometimes no matter what you do, some people despise seeing you satisfied. If that’s the case then it’s time to rethink who you spend your time with.


Failure is comfortable, especially when it’s something you are so used to. You have to go deep inside to find that spark of hope. You have to go beyond the world of limitations.

Laughter & Smiles

What is laughter?

But a nervous reaction

To uncomfortable feelings

Lit with passion

Listen closely

To the outbreak of madness

For, laughter indeed

Is an expression of sadness

What is a smile?

But an awkward tug

At sweeping unpleasantness

Under the rug

Look a little closer

At the lips so black and blue

For, smiles indeed

Are used to band-aid the bruise

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little adventures